ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
TINSEL IS THE BOMB AND SO ARE YOU.
BE MY VALENTINE.
I LOVE YOU!
I read the note again looking at the UPS guy quizzically as I sign for a STACK of packages on Valentine’s Day morning.
"They’re not from me.” he says.
“Wow, I’m glad you cleared that up. I was wondering.”
“Happy Valentine’s” I shout at him as he tears off down the hallway clearly traumatized by the abhorrent vision of a still-three-quarters-asleep dreadlocked bedhead redhead who answered the door to him.
One, two, three, four, FIVE packages. In that case I’m gonna need five cups of Barry’s Gold Blend (at the very least) in order to deal.
It’s like Christmas all over again. But better. ALL OF THESE GIFTS? FOR ME?
Unwrapping like a woman possessed. What could they all be?
It looks like...wait it couldn’t be?
My dream Purple Tinsel Cascade Jacket from Bottle Blonde Studio. WTF?
Buffalo London Classic High Top Platform Sneakers to spice up my life? Are you KIDDING ME?
ISLYNYC EYECONIC love heart choker and earring set!
Not one but F-O-U-R of my favorite colorbomb Frame Bags all the way from Istanbul that are ready and waiting to take me on my travels to Tokyo! AND Poppy Lissiman’s Le Skinny shades in lilac.
It’s the top five on my ‘want’ list.
WOW. SOMEONE REALLY LOVES ME. BUT HOW DID THEY KNOW?
Can’t get it all on my body fast enough. No time to shower there’s too much SWAGGGGGG in the house! SHERPAAAAAAAAA! Get the camera out!!!
Haus of Influence's living room is transformed to a Valentine’s Day love set with just the click of the fingers. Because when you’re an influencer, that’s just the type of stuff you can do.
Tinsel. Fashion. Lights. Fashion. Fun. Fashion. Balloons. Make out with balloon. Things are getting crazy. Fashion. Fashion. Love. Fashion. Love. Fashion.
Fashion. Fashion. Fashion.
Loving all of my new things. Loving life. Loving myself.
As I’m frolicking about in my finest tinsel glory, I’m racking my brains trying to figure out the brains behind this Valentine’s Day gift coup. Tatyana? Sherpa? Julie Sherlock? Pat and Veronica? All valid suspects...but there can only be one answer.
Because I’m worth it.
Because I know what I want more than anyone else.
Because without self love I couldn’t do anything!
Thank God for me. The best Valentine I’ll ever have.
Happy Valentine’s Day. Every day. To all.
And buy yourself things.
You’re worth it!
GLOSSARY OF TERMS (in order of appearance)
HAUS OF INFLUENCE - TSB HQ. Sherpa and I’s Bushwick apartment where much magic happens.
Tatyana - LA based travel wife and best friend.
Sherpa - I think we all know who Sherpa is at this stage. If not, go back and read some previous stories. You won't be sorry. Side note: Sherpa is highly skeptical of online shopping so he probably shouldn't have factored as a suspect in this mysterious case.
Pat and Veronica - My wonderful parents who love and support me every day from the motherland. That's Ireland for those who don't already know.
Julie Sherlock - Sister, the person with whom I have the most LOLS in the entire world and best friend.
Tinsel Cascade Jacket: Bottle Blonde Studio / Le Skinny Lilac Shades: Poppy Lissiman / Red Vinyl Trousers: Topshop / Platform Hi Top Sneakers: Buffalo London / Choker and Earrings: ISLYNYC / Belt: MOSCHINO / Printed Backpacks: Frame Bags